Tag: Avoid At All Cost

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Murder on the Orient Express (2017)

(2017, Rated PG-13) Tom Bateman (Bouc); Kenneth Branagh (Hercule Poirot); Penélope Cruz (Pilar Estravados); Willem Dafoe (Gerhard Hardman); Judi Dench (Princess Dragomiroff); Johnny Depp (Edward Ratchett); Josh Gad (Hector MacQueen); Derek Jacobi (Edward Henry Masterman); Leslie Odom Jr. (Dr. Arbuthnot); Michelle Pfeiffer (Caroline Hubbard); Daisy Ridley (Miss Mary Debenham); Marwan Kenzari (Pierre Michel); Olivia Colman (Hildegarde Schmidt); Lucy Boynton (Countess Elena Andrenyi); Manuel Garcia-Rulfo (Biniamino Marquez); Sergei Polunin (Count Rudolph Andrenyi). Music: Patrick Doyle. Screenplay: Michael Green (suggested by the book by Agatha Christie). Director: Kenneth Branagh. 114 minutes.

Tags: Remake, Mystery, Avoid-At-All-Cost

Notable: Single most idiotic portrayal of Hercule Poirot in the history of the known world (Branagh); sets are better than the actors.

Rating: ★☆☆☆☆

Having solved a case in Istanbul, the famous Belgian sleuth Hercule Poirot is recalled to England for a consultation. Securing travel on the Orient Express — the famous train that runs from Istanbul to Paris — Poirot finds himself embroiled in a mysterious murder. With the train snowbound, the murderer must be one of the passengers in the main coach… but which, and how? Poirot must engage his “little grey cells” to solve one of the most complicated crimes of his career. Continue reading “Murder on the Orient Express (2017)”

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Geography Club

By Brent Hartinger
ISBN-13: 9780060012236

Publication Year: 2003

Tags: Gay, Gay Youth, Coming Out, Avoid-At-All-Cost

Rating: ★☆☆☆☆

From the back cover of the book: Russel Middlebrook is convinced he’s the only gay kid at Goodkind High School. Then his online gay chat buddy turns out to be none other than Kevin, the popular but closeted star of the school’s baseball team. Soon Russel meets other gay students, too. There’s his best friend Min, who reveals that she is bisexual, and her soccer–playing girlfriend Terese. Then there’s Terese’s politically active friend, Ike. But how can kids this diverse get together without drawing attention to themselves? “We just choose a club that’s so boring, nobody in their right mind would ever in a million years join it. We could call it Geography Club!” Continue reading “Geography Club”

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To Die, To Sleep

(1994, Rated PG-13) Noah Hathaway (Phil), Paul Coufos (Dumar), Larry Gatlin (himself), Ami Dolenz (Kathy), Charles Napier (Father), Trish Davis (Mother), Nicole Fellous (Jan), Suzanne Alter (Sue), Vali Ashton (Counselor), Tom Pieper (Drug Dealer), George Thompson (Bartender). Music: Ralph Geddes and Michael G. Smith. Screenplay: Rick Filon (story by Kenneth Dalton and Rick Filon). Director: Brianne Murphy. 86 minutes.

Tags: Teen, Angst, Suicide, Avoid-At-All-Cost

Notable: The characters are so two-dimensional, most don’t even have names (Father, Mother, etc.), and the script is the same.

Rating: ☆☆☆☆☆

A troubled teen — a rich kid who would rather have his parents than their money — begins to flirt with death as a way to ease his pain. He meets a roadie with a C&W band who offers his experience to help him choose a different course. Continue reading “To Die, To Sleep”

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Nerve Net

Brian Eno (Guest artists include Robert Fripp and Roger Eno)

TRACKS: 1—Fractal Zoom; 2—Wire Shock; 3—What Actually Happened?; 4—Pierre in Mist; 5—My Squelchy Life; 6—Juju Space Jazz; 7—The Roil, The Choke; 8—Ali Click; 9—Web; 10—Web (Lascaux Mix); 11—Decentre

RELEASE DATE: September 1, 1992

TAGS: Electronica, Horrible, Painful, Fuggeddabowdit

RATING: ☆☆☆☆☆

In the liner notes, Eno says, “This record is: like Paella, a self-contradictory mess, off balance, unlocked, dissonant, frenetic, evanescent, overheated, godless, clockless, reckless, squelchy, un-American, technically naïve, far too vague, derivative of everything, post cool, post root, crunchy, bluff, post world, post man, too much, not enough, revisionist, shamelessly exhibitionist, untailored, uncentered, clearly the work of a mind in distress, where-am-I music.” He is wrong on two counts: He left out “appalling,” and it certainly isn’t “music.” Continue reading “Nerve Net”

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The Boy on the Bus

BoyOnTheBusCoverBy Deborah Schupack
ISBN 0-743-24221-1

Publication Year: 2003

Tags: Pretentious, Avoid-At-All-Cost, Pointless

Rating: ★☆☆☆☆

A Vermont housewife finds that the last boy on the bus, the boy who hasn’t left the bus because he doesn’t seem to know that he’s arrived at his home, both is and somehow is not her son Charlie. He looks mostly right, sounds mostly right, but he is different; rather than being a severely asthmatic weakling, this boy seems more robust, even more mature. No one — not the bus driver, the sheriff, the neighbors, the husband, the older daughter — can tell if this is really Charlie. Each falls back upon the strange, perhaps inexplicable observation, “You’re his mother; you should know.” Continue reading “The Boy on the Bus”

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Pornografitti

Extreme (Pat Badger, Nuno Bettencourt, Gary Cherone, Paul Geary)

TRACKS: 1—Decadence Dance; 2—Li’l Jack Horny; 3—When I’m President; 4—Get the Funk Out; 5—More Than Words; 6—Money (In God We Trust); 7—It(‘s a Monster); 8—Pornografitti; 9—When I first Kissed You; 10—Suzi (Wants Her All-Day What?); 11—He-Man Woman Hater; 12—Song For Love; 13—Hole Hearted.

RELEASE DATE: August 7, 1990

TAGS: Rock, Horrible, Indecisive, Fuggeddabowdit

RATING: ★☆☆☆☆

Although this is the second album by this band, it’s the first I’ve heard of them. I was suckered into buying the whole album, back in the day before you could buy one song out of the bunch. (To really date myself, I happened to be channel-surfing, in those ancient days when VH-1 actually played — GASP! — music videos, and I heard “Hole Hearted,” which is apparently the band’s only hit.) The balance of this album is so radically different from that one cut (read: “Hole Hearted” is the only song worth anything), and it’s definitely not a keeper; meanwhile, I thought I’d take a long look at who and what these guys are, or at least what they tried to be. Continue reading “Pornografitti”